Monday, 15 September 2008

• Currently Reading TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, from the "ON LANGUAGE" column of the NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE By William Safire see related

  Are You a Troll?

  The Oxford English Dictionary defines a troll as “an ugly cave-dwelling being depicted as either a giant or a dwarf.”   Wikipedia, on the other hand, defines a troll as “someone who posts controversial and irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community… with the intention of provoking other users into an emotional response.” 

  The differences between print and online media continue to intrigue me.

  What’s the difference between these two kinds of “trolls”?  Obviously, one is a repulsive, irritable, foul-mouthed, bad-mannered creature who tries to harass and annoy humans… the other is a character from fairy tales.

  Although I find the Oxford variety of troll almost infinitely more interesting, I’ve regrettably had more experience with the online kind.  This may be because I’ve spent more time on the Internet than I’ve spent in Scandinavia, where I was told that they (the first kind) are still not entirely uncommon.  The second kind, on the other hand, are practically an infestation on the Internet. 

  Now that I think about it, I suppose there could be some overlap between the two categories. But it would be hard to tell. 

  You know the kind of thing I mean:

  
  
  

  The problem with online trolling is that it’s like arrogance, ignorance, or bad breath: it’s repulsive, but it’s a quality you only really notice when someone else has it.  Could you be a troll and not know it?  Take this quiz to find out!

  
  

  1.    You have a strongly held opinion.  Someone else disagrees with you.  The most likely explanation for this is:
  

  a.    They could be better informed than you, so it’s wise to keep an open mind.
  b.    They just don’t know as much about the subject as you do.
  c.    They have an IQ of about 2.7, and are probably mentally ill.
  d.    They are pure evil, the Antichrist, and/or a reincarnation of Adolf Hitler.
  

  
  2.    The best way to change someone’s mind is to:
  

  a.    Find points of agreement and engage in a friendly two-way dialogue.
  b.    Post a comment showing your superior knowledge.
  c.    Tell them how stupid they are.
  d.    Call them all the obscene names you know and insult their intelligence IN ALL CAPITALS!
  

  
  3.    You should compare a person to Hitler…
  

  a.    When they say something in favor of the mass murder of 3 million Jews.
  b.    When they hold an opinion that Hitler might also have held, e.g. Vegetarianism.
  c.    When you disagree with something they have to say.
  d.    Because that’s the most direct way to show how stupid their beliefs are.
  

  
  4.    When you discover a message board or website for a community of people whose beliefs you disagree with, you…
  

  a.    Ignore it and go look at icanhascheezburger.com instead.  Life’s too short.
  b.    Write a post about it on your own blog, mentioning in passing how strange some people are.
  c.    Leave a comment arguing that they all are wrong, and when they disagree, accuse them of picking on you.
  d.    Tell those [expletive deleted]s what you really think of all their [expletive deleted]!!
  

  
  5.    Foul language in comments…
  

  a.    Makes you look petty and immature.
  b.    Is OK if other people want to use it.
  c.    Is a good way to emphasize that you’re really passionate about something.
  d.    What the [expletive deleted] do you mean, foul language?  Are you trying to [expletive deleted] with my [expletive deleted] freedom of speech?
  

  
  

  

  
  6.    You’re making a comment about your belief on a controversial subject.  You hold this particular opinion because…
  

  a.    You’ve devoted a lot of time to careful, open-minded study of credentialed resources on both sides of the question, and this is where you stand right now.
  b.    It’s the right one, and it bothers you that people can think otherwise.
  c.    You’re intelligent.  Plus, you know that the people on the other side of the debate are unintelligent because it says so in the literature put out by your side.
  d.    You hate all the morons who disagree with you.
  

  
  7.    The term “fallacy” is…
  

  a.    A technical term for an error in the formal construction of a logical syllogism.
  b.    Something to say when an argument doesn’t convince you.
  c.    A word you throw out to sound impressive.
  d.    What?
  

  
  8.    You should engage in a discussion with a person online who disagrees with you…
  

  a.    If you feel you have something worthwhile to contribute and they will be a fair and receptive audience.
  b.    If you can see the error in their reasoning and correct it.
  c.    Because you are right and they are wrong.
  d.    As a hobby, four or five hours a day.  Whoever makes the most people upset wins!
  

  
  9.    Someone leaves an insulting or frustrating comment on your post, or in reply to your comment.  You…
  

  a.    Ignore it.  Responding would only give them what they want.
  b.    Post a message below saying, “Don’t Feed the Trolls!”
  c.    Make a sarcastic reply, exchange three or four more increasingly frustrated comments, and give up in disgust.
  d.    Remember the Hundred Years’ War?  That’s how it got started.
  

  
  10.    The source of the comment you are responding to is…
  

  a.    A living, breathing person with thoughts and emotions, who is probably pretty intelligent and friendly in real life.
  b.    A misguided or uninformed opinion that it’s your duty to correct.
  c.    Someone who has been brainwashed by the media, the government… or the devil!
  d.    Hitler.
  

  
  

  Scoring:  Add 0 points for every answer “A.”  Add 1 point for every answer “B.”  Add 2 points for every answer “C.”  Add 3 points for every answer “D.”
  

  
  Results:
  
  0-5 points – You’re a Nice Guy.  People tend to like you even when they disagree with you.  You have your opinions, but you can respect and tolerate other people’s views.  As a result, your friends are a diverse bunch, and you like that.  You also probably have a rewarding social life offline.  If you’re ever in the neighborhood, my wife and I would love to take you out for coffee.
  
  6-11 points—You’re an Opinionated Person.  You’ve got some strong beliefs, and you like to talk about them, and you sometimes get into some lively debates because of that.  But for the most part it’s all in good fun, for the occasional bout of intellectual stimulation.  However, you’re precisely the kind of person who’s vulnerable to a Troll Attack.  Tread carefully.
  
  11-20 points—You’re a Bit of a Jerk.  Your online discussions tend to get very heated, and you don’t cut your opponents much slack.  Flame wars happen often when you’re around.  It’s OK for you to be passionate about your beliefs, but I recommend getting out more and interacting with more people in real life instead.  Take up some hobbies and find some outdoor activities you like.  Life’s too short to waste in online fights.
  
  20-30 points—You’re a Troll!  Repent, you sinner!  Cease and desist!  Begone and trouble this ground no more!  Dawn take you all, and be stone to you!  ::Sprinkles Holy Water over computer, produces a crucifix and a head of garlic, and mutters the rites of exorcism in Latin::  Seriously, though.  Get a life.  You really could use one.  

  

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